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Welcome To Eternity
"Between 2004 and 2008, about a dozen high schoolers banded together to form blashco productions. Over 200 films were produced with over 1,000 hours of footage." "For your viewing pleasure, the phenomenon that was blashco has been condensed to a mere 27 minutes." "The result is a surrealist plunge into the psyche of teenage awkwardness." ''- Film's introduction Welcome to Eternity is an experimental blashco epic that is the penultimate 1.0 production, followed only by Ju Ju Bloopers. The purpose of the film was to give the 1.0 era a proper send-off, and appropriates its content entirely from earlier 1.0 films. It is essentially a blashco 1.0 mixtape. History / Concept At the time, Asher was taking a course called Alternate Cinema that focused on experimental films. Many of the films shared the theme of awakening from a dream and entering a sort of psudeo-dream reality. A Perception of Juuuu..... Stepping back a few years, to an unfinished and unreleased season six production, this film was a collection of random skits filmed in Haydn Winston's house. The intro was of Mikey Forrest awakening from a bizarre dream. Being reminded of this lead Asher to decided to make a "big blashco blumpkin-fest of sorts." It was released exactly five years after the release of Open House, the first 1.0 production. Structure Welcome to Eternity is broken up into three acts and nine movements: Act I Movement I: Prelude Movement II: In Ten Minutes, Five Years Ago Act II Movement III: The Ballad of Jimmy Ford Movement IV: The Master Plan Movement V: Spontaneous Combustion Movement VI: Toxic Gas Act III Movement VII: Welcome To Ass Town Movement VIII: Welcome To Eternity Movement IX: A Sloppy Aftermath Credits Act I ''"I saw it in a vision." ''- Mikey The foreboding music that opens Lords & Tyrants plays as the Welcome To Eternity title appears twice. Movement I - Prelude A Perception of Juuuuuu..... The film opens with its assumed protagonist Mikey Forrest. Alex Warren is playing very haunting piano as he awakens in a majestic bedroom. He slowly exits as the film cuts to its cast credits. A Sloppy Gelato Fest After the credits we cut to the first half of what is likely the deepest and most prophetic of the blashco 1.0 productions, the first film produced for season six of blashco 1.0. Mikey is asked by Asher where the gelato is, and he disappears, leaving in his place a book that tells Asher to go outside. Asher leaves the room and goes through his jarebear sequence the heads to the front door. Upstairs, it is Christmas, and Mikey sings and dances and mesmorizes Asher, the electrocutes him, then transforms into Haydn Winston. Transition I A quick clip from Poseidon where Asher exits a closet with a girl looking for a switch. He finds it, but it must be the wrong one because it causes all the windows to crash in and kill dozens of people. This cuts to a scene from the infamous "A door! It's locked!" scene from Sword. Movement II - In Ten Minutes, Five Years Ago Kasamoto IV: The Confidential Files Mikey and Jordan Doig get into a conflict because Mikey had a vision that they would both be dead in ten minutes. "How do we stop it?" Jordan asks. "A shoot out." Mikey replies. Nooblarticus 6000 The first half of this dadaist film plays. There is truly no use in me explaining the plot, but here are the first three shots: Mikey walks up stairs and queen starts to play as he says "I'm A Noob. Welcome to Nooblar Academy!!!" Then Alex Warren asks what this bear looks like this bear looks like this bear looks like. "A NOOB!!!" Mikey and Alex declare. The Asher plays chess with Sean forrest, and gets him into "nooblar-mate." Stereotypes (AKA The Real World: Asher's House) This section of the film is so derailed from the plot of Stereotypes that it could have been sandwiched into any film at any point. This part is prompted by the line "Remember that time five years ago" in Nooblarticus 6000. Haydn and Mikey wonder where the chinese food they ordered is, then begin to blame each other for it disappearing, threatening them with guns. After the sequence, we cut back to Nooblarticus 6000 for a bit of raw footage. Act II ''"The tsunami alarm, the lockdown, it was all me, it was all planned from the start! I had to get what I wanted and now it's going to be completed." ''- Mikey Movement III - The Ballad Of Jimmy Ford A quick raw clip from an unreleased season three film. Asher fights Mikey on top of a car as they hit sixty miles an hour. Jimmy Ford: How I Sped To The Top Of NASCAR The entire trailer plays, but the "this is Sparta!" reference from the half point is cut out. Alex Warren plays Jimmy Ford who will stop at nothing to speed to the top. Axel Flat, Matt Tanner's character, though, will stop at nothing to jam Jimmy Ford's gears. Movement IV: The Master Plan The Good The Bad And The Homecoming The scene where Asher meets Mikey and uses his bird companion to steal Mikey's letter. An extra take is cut in when the bird attacks Mikey. Poseidon As Asher walks away we transition to the infamous scene from Poseidon, where it is revealed that Asher's friend was actually Poseidon the whole time. The epic twist is expressed and cuts to the fifth movement, removing the finale fight scene. Movement V: Spontaneous Combustion Kasamoto II: The Return of Genola The scene where Jordan enters his mech suit and it's gears jam and explodes, which promptly transitions to... Explosions The only film from the blashco rennissiance from season two to be featured in Welcome To Eternity, approximately two-thirds of the film are used, but slightly re-edited. Asher, Haydn and Mikey explode. A lot. Movement VI: Toxic Gas Really a transition of sorts. The second act closes with a mashup of the most loved scenes from the Kasamoto series, first where Mikey approaches Jordan in the forrest, only to be told it is filled with toxic gas. Then it goes to the very original and rare scene from Kasamoto Zero: The Forgotten Prelude. After that it cuts to a scene from Kasamoto: The Rise of Kasamoto. Act III ''"Why can't you people understand what I am trying to do? Blashco was a plague on this earth--I HAVE CLEANSED IT! You leave me no choice... WELCOME TO ETERNITY!!" - Haydn Act III begins with a rare skit that uses raw footage from an unreleased film, The Return. It is a parody of ghost sighting youtube videos. Movement VII: Welcome To Ass Town A quick take from a season three unreleased film fades into... Nooblarticus 6000 The second half of this clusterfuck plays. Transition II A tribute to Officer Malone, including scenes from The Hammer, The CM 2, Open House and The CM 3. Movement VIII: Welcome To Eternity Blashco Resurrection The entire climax scene plays out, starting with the interrogation scene between Haydn and "Asher." This movement also acts as the climax for Welcome To Eternity itself, befitting, as blashco is a primary topic and Haydn shouts the title in the scene. Movement IX: A Sloppy Aftermath A Sloppy Gelato Fest The second half of ASGF plays, only removing the scene in the bedroom where Mikey meets his nemesis. The final frame of Haydn's face fades to... Lords & Tyrants The final shot from this pre-blashco film, follows Sean Forrest as he ventures onwards up a mountainous pathway as the sun sets in front of him. Credits / Ju Ju Bloopers ''"Blashco is more important than knowledge." ''- Haydn The credits are essentially a precursor to Ju Ju Bloopers, which was being organized as Welcome To Eternity was being completed. The credit music is Sonnet 3 (Like A Duck) by MC Honky. While Asher was editing Welcome To Eternity, he was also going through the raw footage of each available film, collecting an assortment of bloopers spanning season one to season six of blashco 1.0. The blooper reel was the last official 1.0 release, ending the era just over five years since it began. The soundtrack for the reel consistes exclusively of songs by RJD2, except the final song which was composed by Matt Tanner in Garageband. Category:1.0